Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
