I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
