Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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