There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
