I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
