so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize