I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
