This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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