you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
