ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
50% drunk capacity currently
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize