she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
