so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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