what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
