Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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