Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
