Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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