rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
