I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
