you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
