seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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