you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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