i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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