She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you win again, gameday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
