ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
