they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
