a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
