Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
