sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
