fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
