so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
