Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize