After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
