Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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