I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
