No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize