Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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