Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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