After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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