If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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