I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
