And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
