I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
