Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
