I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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