The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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