Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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