he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
