There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
