Christians are straight up FREAKS
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
