Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize