is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize