pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
