Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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