i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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