We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
