I hate all girls vehemently.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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