Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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