Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
