i just had sex bonerless
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize