my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
