He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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